It has been a long time since I posted here, but a lot has happened.
The first revelation was that the details of the insurance weren't what we first thought. The 41 day window is out, because Alex is insured from now straight through to his birthday. This is great news!
The second revelation is that he's not having his surgery! This is unexpected, but good news as well. I will explain.
When consulting with his doctor, it was estimated that the surgical procedure Alex was planning to have would only have a 50/50 chance of success. So instead, he opted to go a different route. So tomorrow, he is having a procedure done called a nerve block, which will hopefully remove the pain in his ass (pun fully intended).
Its almost certainly a cheaper procedure, but donations are still needed! So if you can make any last-minute donations, now is the time.
Fantastic news for my brother's butt: chances are that he will have his surgery this year!
I won't get too specific here, but due to a quirk of the recent health care reform bills and the timing of my brother's birthday, he will have a month and ten days this summer in which he can get his surgery under an insurance plan.
This is great news! Not only does this mean that my brother's butt will be fixed this year, but I can adjust this website to drive the fundraising toward the new goal! This also means that there is now a time constraint on raising those funds, so I had better get started.
The insurance is expected to cover 80% of the cost of the surgery. However, there will likely be other expenses like consults and medications that will be incurred outside of my brother's 41 day insurance window. Therefore, I have re-evaluated the potential expenses to be up to $5000, again shooting for an overestimate just in case there are unexpected expenses or complications.
I have adjusted the Butt Thermometer to reflect this, and this means we are now at nearly 5% of the goal! Be prepared for more announcements very soon as I push to raise this number.
The giant frickin dinosaur visited me again and made an offer! He said that for everyone that donates $10, they can tell him to do something and he will do it. He explains in this video:
Now, keep in mind that this does have limits. He can talk, sing, make phone calls, fight with Carl, anything you've seen him do previously, along with another thing or two like eat and play fetch. So be creative, donate, and see the dino do his thing!
When I was walking out of work on Friday, I discovered my friend the giant frickin' dinosaur with a foot on the hood of my car. He insisted that not enough people have been visiting http://www.FixmyBrothersButt.com/ and threw another CD at me. This is the file that was on that CD. My car is now down at A-Street Automotive having the T-Rex footprint pounded out of the hood.
So yeah... um... might be in your best interest to donate or something.
I know I haven't made many updates to this website recently, and it's mostly because after the Ride for the Cure for My Brother's Butt, I got into starting up a new business (Savvy Duck Computers), and I've been terribly busy. Apparently someone noticed.
I was just minding my own business last night, watching Star Trek and fixing a computer for a local restaurant when this GIANT FRICKING T-REX burst right through my wall and roared at me! Then he hesitated, shuffled his feet a little, apologized for getting carried away, and threw a CD at me. After demanding in no uncertain terms that I post the entire contents of the CD on the internet (because, in his words, "my arms are too stubby to type with and your entire species is stubby so you're probably used to it"), he stormed out. After changing my pants, I opened up the CD and this is what was on it:
Repairs to my wall have begun. And one more thing: as he was leaving and gnawing on the remains of my couch, he mentioned that he would be back with more. Fun.
That's right, the Ride for the Cure for My Brother's Butt is over and it was a complete success! With your help, we raised $1.64 per mile. The total mileage was 125.6, so the total comes to $205.98, more than doubling the Butt Fund! I'll be updating the Butt Fund total as all of that comes in.
That was one of the roughest things I've done, but we did surprisingly well. Alex's friend Stephen (who took Nick's place on the Ride at the last minute) and I made it to the coast in 6 hours and back in 6 and a half! That's pretty good considering that my test ride, which was about the same length, took me over 7 and a half hours to complete. I suppose I'm motivated by having someone else there with me, especially someone who can completely trounce me at physical activity. I only had to walk my bike up three of the nasty hills, but if Stephen had had his way, we wouldn't have walked any of them!
It was nice and sunny most of the way there, and while we were there we ate dinner at a truly terrible restaurant, then watched a football game at a super awesome bar to which I'm totally going back. We got to sleep in tents due to the fact that Alex followed us along in his car, and that was a good thing because it started raining overnight!
We got a late start in the morning, getting off at about 11, just when it started pouring! It poured a third of the way back home, making us super soaked and making my stuffed underwear saaag. I'll be posting pictures of that to the FMBB Facebook page soon. The rest of the way went by pretty quick, but I am super duper tired from all that, even this morning. I slept like a freaking log.
Thank you to all of you who sent in pledges, thank you Stephen for taking Nick's place (who got sick) so that I wouldn't be doing this alone, and thank you Alex for following along so we didn't have to carry so much (and didn't have to sleep in the rain). I'll leave the Butt Ride page up at http://www.fixmybrothersbutt.com/buttride.php indefinitely for historical and awesomeness purposes.
Well, I'm doing it! Tomorrow morning, I will be leaving my home and setting off on the longest bike ride I've ever taken over rougher terrain than I've ever tackled... and then I'm doing it again the next day.
But I'm doing it all for a good cause! My brother's butt needs to be fixed, and I'm going to do what I can to fix it. If you can make a pledge, I'd appreciate it! Even a penny or two per mile would help big. If you'd like to cheer me on, I'd appreciate that too! You can follow my progress at http://twitter.com/fixmybrothersb
Fun and shenanigans will be plentiful. Wish me luck!
Yes, my antics at this time appear to have no end. I am making an official announcement here: I will do embarrassing (or even non-embarrassing things) for money.
I have made such offers in the past. A friend of mine complained that he didn't like the progress thermometer on this website. I offered to change it in return for a donation. This offer is still open. Later on I told another friend on Facebook that I'd draw a butt on my forehead for a donation. This didn't happen either. Then last weekend, I offered to sharpie a butt on my arm for a pledge to the Ride for the Cure for My Brother's Butt, or my forehead for a 50 cent pledge. Finally someone took me up on it! This was the result:
See? I will do things for donations! And I'll do even more too. There are few places I won't stride for a hefty enough donation, so be creative! Think up something stupid for me to do, send me an e-mail or post it on Facebook, and we'll see what we can work out.
Well, we just had an extremely generous donation come in that brought us up above the $100 mark! We still have a long way to go, but things are looking up. Not only that, but now if you squint and look super duper crazy closely at the Butt Fund thermometer on the right, you'll see a strip of purple next to the 0. That's right, the Butt Fund is now large enough so that the savings appear as the first row of pixels on that thermometer!
I did the math, and every pixel from the bottom of the 0 to the top of the thermometer represents exactly $80 of savings. We'll get to the top! We'll do it pixel by pixel but we'll get to the top.
We here at FixMyBrothersButt.com have been busy! (By we I mean I, and by busy I mean slightly less lazy.) In the past week two major additions have been added to the website. Here they are in no particular order:
Pledges! I am now accepting pledges of funds per mile of distance I travel on the Ride for the Cure for My Brother's Butt! Click that link to find a super-easy form you can use to pledge any amount. Even as little as a nickel helps my brother's butt out a lot!
The Photography Store! Fix My Brother's Butt has now become the only online supplier of Alex's photography! An entire third of the purchase price for this amazing artwork goes toward getting his butt fixed, so now you can help my brother out and decorate your walls at the same time.
Keep watching, because I have many more plans to come!
Now that my brother knows about the website and has allowed me to make it look more legit, my next task is to get the word out about it.
Before now, I was trying to keep the site fairly anonymous, so these efforts were limited to word-of-mouth and spreading the word anonymously on a number of websites and the 'spread the word' buttons along the top and side of all the pages. In the two months that this site has been running, this is only now beginning to pay off (Thanks Reddit!)
Now that it's not an anonymous site anymore, I can start taking more interesting measures. I've already started doing things like sending voice mails to some of the comedic podcasts I listen to, but I'm looking for more ideas.
Some of my friends suggest to me that I should start writing letters to celebrities. It might be a good idea, and I'm willing to do it, but I question whether I would have a hope of getting any kind of response.
Do you have any ideas? You could help me push this website toward success! Send me an e-mail and tell me what brilliant thoughts you might have on spreading the word.
I am announcing the Ride for the Cure for My Brother's Butt! On September 18, I'm going to ride to the coast and back wearing a giant pair of stuffed underwear, and I need you to sponsor my miles! I also intend to wear a shirt with this finely-crafted logo:
Sponsorships run $5 for every mile I ride, and you can sponsor as many or as few miles as you wish. Not only that, but if you buy sponsorships, you get all the regular FixMyBrothersButt prizes that you would get for donating the same amount! And everything given for the sponsorships will go directly into the butt fund.
While I am not necessarily looking for others to go on the trip with me, my friend Nick has already generously said he will. See the Butt Ride website for details!
Last Wednesday, August 11, I finally told my brother about this website. He was pretty enthusiastic about the whole idea, so things are about to get crazy around here.
Step 1 is already complete: I have modified the website to make it look much, much more legit. Since I was finally able to ask my brother's permission to use is name, picture, and other details on http://www.fixmybrothersbutt.com/, the website no longer looks super sketchy and hopefully people will be more apt to donate.
Step 2 is the Fix My Brother's Butt twitter feed! Now that I have Alex's permission, I will be able to use his feed for its originally intended purpose: updates about his butt!
Step 3 is new videos! I have taken a few fun videos in the past weeks that I haven't been able to post due to the fact that my brother is in them. Expect to see those begin to appear, along with the video I took of my brother's reaction to finding out about this website.
Step 4 is the Butt Store! I plan to offer prints of Alex's photography for sale directly from the website (along with some other goodies), with part of the proceeds going to him and part going to his Butt Fund. Look for that to appear sometime in the next few weeks.
Step 5 is a super secret project that won't be secret for much longer. You will see a hint of it appear today on the facebook page.
Stay tuned! These and many more shenanigans are forthcoming.
A special announcement from FixMyBrothersButt.com:
August 11 is my brother's birthday, and that means that it's his butt's birthday too! To recognize this important occasion, rewards for all donations made on Wednesday, August 11 will be given for half the normal donation amount. That means $5 will get you a message on the website, $50 will get you a butt photograph, $250 will get you a gyroscope whirligig, and $500 will get me to kiss your butt!
This is a one day only promotion, so if you were thinking of donating and haven't yet, August 11 is a great time! Please support my brother's butt on its birthday and give it a happy birthday too.
No, not photography of butts, but instead a video highlighting some of the amazing photography that my brother and his butt have taken. Sorry about the jittery video, and the old resolution, and the poor sound quality; I completed this with extreme haste while I was late for something else. Now that I have adequately lowered your expectations, enjoy! Warning - sophomoric humor ensues.